That's like saying you want to cook a meal and ask which ingredients you need.
To get anything resembling a coherent answer (rather than everyone projecting their own ideas of what *they* would put into *their* 486DX4 system), you need to tell us what the machine is supposed to do, what you have available and/or what sort of budget you have to get parts, how patient you are prepared to be to get stuff, and what is important to you.
To give you an example, I have an IBM 486 motherboard from a PS/1 in a generic LPX case, with ISA-only riser. It currently has an IBM "Blue Lightning DX2" i.e. regular Cx486DX2 but I want to upgrade to an IBM 5x86, mainly to play about with it and to run my favorite 4x DOS games (Master of Magic, Ascendancy, Master of Orion). The motherboard has onboard video (Cirrus Logic GD5428), which is good enough, so all I need is a sound card and a network card. For sound I want SBPro2.0 support and if possible wavetable, although I have both an MT-32 and a Roland GM-supporting piano for external MIDI, so just a MIDI interface without hanging notes is good enough. Any ISA NIC should be OK; I might use my 3Com, or just go with an NE2000-compatible one. I don't want to spend significant money on this, and can wait as it isn't my primary project.
(now, I already have everything except the CPU, and I found that on the cheap in the same town my daughter goes to school, so I just need to wait till she comes here on holiday in 7 weeks' time to finish this)
See if you can write something similar for what you have in mind. Then we can come up with what would be best for you, not what we would do ourselves 😉